As summer winds down and many parents are busy prepping their homes for a new school year, you might be in a different stage of life. Your kids are grown, they’ve left the nest, and now they have their own homes and families. But while they’ve moved out, their stuff has stayed behind and you may feel stuck with their stuff. Can you relate?
Sometimes whole bedrooms are little time capsules – left much the same as when they moved out (finally!) to start adulting. Or, maybe you decided a few years ago to reclaim their bedroom for a new home office or crafting room and just boxed everything up and stashed it in your attic or basement? Now, you find yourself stuck with their stuff, unsure of what to do with all the childhood memorabilia, old furniture, and forgotten items.
If this sounds like you, keep reading…
With one recent client of ours we embarked on “Mission: You Want It, You Store It” with her kids – a journey to lovingly, but firmly, hand over the storage responsibilities to her adult children.
Here’s how to do it:
Step 1: Assess the Situation
Start by taking a rough inventory of what’s being stored. This includes boxes of old toys, books, school projects, furniture, clothes, sports equipment – all the things that have been gathering dust and leaving you feeling stuck with their stuff.
Tip: Make this a fun trip down memory lane by inviting your kids over to help you sort through their items. You’ll laugh, and reminisce, and they’ll see firsthand how much space their things are taking up. You may need to do this walk down memory lane virtually if your kids have grown and flown. By sorting the items, you’ll get closer to feeling less stuck with their stuff.
Step 2: Set Boundaries and Expectations
Once you’ve got a clear picture of what’s there, it’s time to set some boundaries. Have an open and honest conversation with your adult children. Let them know that while you’ve loved keeping their things safe, it’s time for them to take responsibility.
Conversation Starter: “Hey [Name], I’ve been thinking it’s time for you to decide what you want to do with the things you’ve left here. I’d love for you to take what’s meaningful to you and find a place for it in your home.”
Step 3: Establish a Deadline
To keep things moving, set a firm deadline for them to pick up their belongings. This could be by the end of the month, before the holidays, or another date that works for you. Make sure they understand that after this date, anything left behind will be donated or disposed of.
Example: “By [Date], I need you to either pick up your things or let me know what you want me to do with them. Anything left after that will be donated.”
Step 4: Help Them Make Decisions
Some items might be sentimental or difficult for your kids to decide on. Offer to help them sort through what to keep, what to donate, and what to toss. This can also be a great opportunity to share stories and memories associated with certain items. We have found that pre-sorting and organizing into categories can speed the decision-making process and reduce the angst around letting go.
Tip: Suggest that they take photos of items they can’t keep but want to remember. Digital storage is much easier to manage than physical clutter.
Step 5: Get Creative with Storage Solutions
For items that your kids absolutely want to keep but don’t have room for, suggest creative storage solutions. Maybe they can use some of these items in their own home, or invest in a small storage unit.
Idea: “Why not use that old dresser in your guest room? It’s been in the family for years, and it would look great with a fresh coat of paint!”
Step 6: Donate or Dispose of What’s Left
Once the deadline has passed and the items are picked up, it’s time to clear out whatever remains. Donate usable items to charity, and responsibly dispose of anything that can’t be reused. Many organizations will even pick up large items like furniture, making this process easier for you.
Bonus: Clearing out these items can be incredibly freeing, both physically and emotionally. You’ll be amazed at how much lighter your home feels without the extra clutter.
Step 7: Celebrate Your Newfound Space
Now that your home is clear, it’s time to enjoy your newly reclaimed space. Whether you turn the extra room into a cozy guest suite, a crafting area, or just enjoy the open space, take a moment to appreciate the new chapter you’re entering.
Final Thought: Remember, this process isn’t just about getting rid of stuff – it’s about your legacy. Moving and downsizing to a smaller home often triggers this process but even if you don’t plan to move, doing a little over time will make it easier in the long run for everyone. And by encouraging your adult children to take responsibility for their belongings, you’re helping them grow, too.